Épisode Mon saut dans l'inconnu S01E12 - Scrubs Saison 1

1
00:00:10,938 --> 00:00:14,608
Quoi ? Je n'ai rien dit.
Je n'ai rien fait.

2
00:00:14,691 --> 00:00:18,779
Qu'avez-vous concocté
dans votre petit cerveau parano ?

3
00:00:23,367 --> 00:00:24,451
Merde.

4
00:00:24,535 --> 00:00:27,996
Il devrait y avoir un panneau...

5
00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:33,127
Ah, oui. Vous devriez le reposer
avant que quelqu'un ne glisse.

6
00:00:33,210 --> 00:00:36,296
Entendu. Car je fonde
la plupart de mes décisions

7
00:00:36,380 --> 00:00:40,217
sur ton opinion. J'envisage
de me séparer de ma femme.

8
00:00:40,300 --> 00:00:42,845
Tu pourrais y réfléchir.
Tiens-moi au courant.

9
00:00:45,431 --> 00:00:47,015
Le sol est mouillé, madame.

10
00:00:47,891 --> 00:00:51,478
Un petit coup de main.
S'il vous plaît.

11
00:00:51,562 --> 00:00:54,523
Bouge-toi, coton-tige.

12
00:00:54,606 --> 00:00:59,111
Coton-tige. Parce que tu es maigre
et que tu as les cheveux bouffants.

13
00:00:59,194 --> 00:01:00,946
Il se passe quelque chose.

14
00:01:01,029 --> 00:01:05,701
Par ici, petits crétins.
Posez-vous un instant.

15
00:01:05,784 --> 00:01:09,163
Je suis de service depuis minuit
donc je me tiens ici,

16
00:01:09,246 --> 00:01:11,623
ayant toujours
autant de mépris pour vous,

17
00:01:11,707 --> 00:01:14,793
mais cette fois, avec treize tasses

18
00:01:14,877 --> 00:01:19,047
de jus de chaussette
circulant dans mes veines.

19
00:01:19,131 --> 00:01:22,551
Le message, plutôt évident,
est que si vous foirez aujourd'hui,

20
00:01:22,634 --> 00:01:25,220
vous sentirez la douleur bien passer.

21
00:01:25,304 --> 00:01:29,808
Certains d'entre vous ont dû remarquer

22
00:01:29,892 --> 00:01:32,978
que les 27 patients
qui étaient ici à l'USI

23
00:01:33,062 --> 00:01:36,148
quand j'ai commencé hier soir
sont toujours en vie,

24
00:01:36,231 --> 00:01:39,026
et je tiens à ce qu'ils respirent encore

25
00:01:39,109 --> 00:01:42,404
ce soir à minuit quand je finirai.

26
00:01:43,363 --> 00:01:47,993
Je crois que vous saisissez
l'opportunité qui s'offre à nous.

27
00:01:50,662 --> 00:01:53,332
- Quelle opportunité... ?
- Tais-toi !

28
00:01:53,415 --> 00:01:55,501
Au base-ball,
si le lanceur joue bien,

29
00:01:55,584 --> 00:01:58,128
on ne lui parle pas,
on lui fiche la paix.

30
00:01:58,212 --> 00:02:02,716
- Où est le rapport avec le base-ball ?
- On ne porte pas la poisse au lanceur

31
00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:06,595
quand il est sur le point de faire
un match parfait. La vache, Barbie,

32
00:02:06,678 --> 00:02:09,848
comment fais-tu pour mettre
ton soutien-gorge et ta culotte

33
00:02:09,932 --> 00:02:13,977
toute seule ?
C'est remarquable.

34
00:02:14,061 --> 00:02:17,022
- C'est lui le lanceur...
- Oui, j'ai compris.

35
00:02:25,114 --> 00:02:27,825
SCRUBS
TOUBIB OR NOT TOUBIB

36
00:02:34,164 --> 00:02:36,625
Participer à un match parfait

37
00:02:36,708 --> 00:02:41,255
est une opportunité unique.
Ça n'arrive jamais.

38
00:02:42,548 --> 00:02:44,925
Donc ça ne m'embête pas
que le Dr Cox me bipe

39
00:02:45,008 --> 00:02:47,177
pour la treizième fois en une heure.

40
00:02:47,261 --> 00:02:50,055
L'USI, c'est là où on balance
les cas critiques.

41
00:02:50,139 --> 00:02:54,476
Tant de patients y meurent que la mort
est comme un collègue de travail

42
00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:58,981
qui est aussi présent
et exigeant que les autres.

43
00:02:59,064 --> 00:03:01,650
Dr Dorian...

44
00:03:01,734 --> 00:03:04,903
Je sais que vous êtes occupé
mais ma fille vend des cookies.

45
00:03:04,987 --> 00:03:07,364
Je vous prendrai
deux boîtes à la menthe.

46
00:03:07,448 --> 00:03:09,491
Elle est la deuxième de sa troupe.

47
00:03:09,575 --> 00:03:14,163
Si la première reste en tête,
on va devoir se charger d'elle.

48
00:03:18,876 --> 00:03:21,462
Vous croyiez que vous alliez claquer ?

49
00:03:21,545 --> 00:03:25,090
Pas question.
Vous allez très bien, merci.

50
00:03:25,174 --> 00:03:26,842
Barbie.

51
00:03:26,925 --> 00:03:29,136
Tout ce que vous voudrez.
Je suis à vous.

52
00:03:29,219 --> 00:03:32,139
Amène-moi 30 g de Kayexalate.

53
00:03:32,222 --> 00:03:35,059
Ne traîne pas à remplir
ta bouteille de Prozac.

54
00:03:35,142 --> 00:03:37,936
Tu travailles pour moi. Allez, allez.

55
00:03:38,020 --> 00:03:41,356
Le nerveux. Va me chercher les résultats
de toxiques du 18.

56
00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:45,069
Si la nouvelle n'est pas bonne,
ce sera de ta faute.

57
00:03:45,152 --> 00:03:49,281
Bizut, commence à drainer
la péricardite purulente, lit 23.

58
00:03:49,364 --> 00:03:53,160
Il n'est pas facile. Il a essayé
de mourir cinq fois, aujourd'hui.

59
00:03:53,243 --> 00:03:56,455
- Surveille-le.
- Je suis votre bras droit, Maverick.

60
00:03:56,538 --> 00:03:58,665
J'ai regardé Top Gun.

61
00:03:58,749 --> 00:04:01,668
Saviez-vous que Goose
jouait dans Urgences ?

62
00:04:01,752 --> 00:04:04,880
Non.
Mais je t'en prie, continue de parler.

63
00:04:04,963 --> 00:04:07,883
Il faut garder un œil sur tout ici,

64
00:04:07,966 --> 00:04:10,928
car quand tout semble aller bien,

65
00:04:11,011 --> 00:04:15,349
le moindre détail peut tout chambouler.

66
00:04:17,434 --> 00:04:22,022
Quoi ? Quand la serveuse t'a demandé
si tu voulais des frites, tu as dit non.

67
00:04:22,106 --> 00:04:25,901
- Oui, mais je voulais des frites.
- Pourquoi tu n'en as pas commandé ?

68
00:04:25,984 --> 00:04:29,029
Parce que je ne peux pas en manger !

69
00:04:31,657 --> 00:04:35,452
Tiens. Mange-les toutes.
Une salade aux frites.

70
00:04:35,536 --> 00:04:37,830
Qu'est-ce qui... ? Turk ?

71
00:04:37,913 --> 00:04:39,915
Allons, bébé.

72
00:04:41,083 --> 00:04:45,379
Poupée, tu sais bien
que je ne peux pas manger de frites.

73
00:04:48,966 --> 00:04:51,468
Dr Dorian, rendez-moi service.

74
00:04:51,552 --> 00:04:55,431
- Je suis débordé, aujourd'hui.
- Pas de problème, petit.

75
00:04:55,514 --> 00:04:57,766
Je n'irai pas à la réunion du conseil.

76
00:04:57,850 --> 00:05:01,812
Je serai trop occupé
à prendre le Dr Dorian en pitié.

77
00:05:01,895 --> 00:05:04,565
Un clown vous remonterait le moral ?

78
00:05:04,648 --> 00:05:06,233
Un clown ivre m'a blessé.

79
00:05:06,316 --> 00:05:09,445
Écoutez mon fichu avocat.
À vous, Tom.

80
00:05:09,528 --> 00:05:12,406
Ted. Mais on ne se connaît
que depuis 12 ans.

81
00:05:12,489 --> 00:05:14,658
Une assistante sociale

82
00:05:14,742 --> 00:05:18,954
travaillant à l'hôpital a glissé
et s'est assommée.

83
00:05:19,037 --> 00:05:21,623
Elle pourrait
nous poursuivre en justice.

84
00:05:21,707 --> 00:05:25,836
Si c'est le cas, certains supérieurs
pourraient trinquer.

85
00:05:28,338 --> 00:05:31,800
Il est moins probable que les gens
intentent un procès à un hôpital

86
00:05:31,884 --> 00:05:35,596
si on lui donne une bonne image.
Comme votre visage avenant.

87
00:05:35,679 --> 00:05:36,930
Mais, monsieur, je...

88
00:05:37,014 --> 00:05:39,600
Le Sacré Cœur vous appelle au secours.

89
00:05:39,683 --> 00:05:43,187
Acceptez-vous l'appel ?

90
00:05:46,732 --> 00:05:51,487
Ce téléphone a un hic. Si vous
ne répondez pas, vous serez l'interne

91
00:05:51,570 --> 00:05:54,531
qui fera les visites médicales
à la prison d'État !

92
00:05:54,615 --> 00:05:55,866
Allô ?

93
00:05:55,949 --> 00:05:59,495
- Comment ça va ? Je suis le Dr Dorian.
- Alex Hanson.

94
00:05:59,578 --> 00:06:01,163
Enchanté.

95
00:06:01,246 --> 00:06:04,166
Quelle poignée de main !
Vous me plaisez.

96
00:06:04,249 --> 00:06:06,877
Salut.

97
00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:11,799
M. Davis, je ne vous ai pas vu
depuis trois mois. C'est un record.

98
00:06:11,882 --> 00:06:15,177
Ignorez mon épaule démise
et papotons.

99
00:06:15,260 --> 00:06:17,096
Ça va soulager la douleur.

100
00:06:17,179 --> 00:06:20,057
Que vous est-il arrivé ?

101
00:06:20,140 --> 00:06:24,645
Une femme m'a poussé hors du bus.
Sans raison.

102
00:06:24,728 --> 00:06:26,563
M. Davis.

103
00:06:26,647 --> 00:06:29,566
Je lui ai dit qu'elle sentait la pisse.

104
00:06:29,650 --> 00:06:31,735
Voilà. Vous pouvez en être fier.

105
00:06:31,819 --> 00:06:35,239
- Vous portez trop de mascara.
- Méfiez-vous.

106
00:06:35,322 --> 00:06:38,117
- Salut.
- Qu'est-ce que tu fais là ?

107
00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:39,827
Je remplace...

108
00:06:39,910 --> 00:06:44,373
Peu importe. Homme de 36 ans,
possible déboîtement de l'épaule.

109
00:06:44,456 --> 00:06:46,208
Super.

110
00:06:46,291 --> 00:06:48,377
Alors, comment allez-vous ?

111
00:06:48,460 --> 00:06:50,546
Il fait si froid tout à coup.

112
00:06:50,629 --> 00:06:54,299
Je crois que mon épaule a dû désenfler.

113
00:06:54,383 --> 00:06:56,552
Oui, j'espère que vous souffrez.

114
00:06:56,635 --> 00:07:00,347
- Oh, non.
- C'est la recherche de toxiques ?

115
00:07:00,431 --> 00:07:02,766
Ça s'annonce mal pour toi.

116
00:07:02,850 --> 00:07:07,479
Va chercher les résultats de l'analyse
d'urines. S'ils ne sont pas bons,

117
00:07:07,563 --> 00:07:10,065
je lui donnerai un de tes reins.

118
00:07:10,149 --> 00:07:13,235
Je parie 10 dollars qu'il finira
par se pisser dessus.

119
00:07:13,318 --> 00:07:17,072
- Tout le monde a peur du chef.
- Laverne a du répondant.

120
00:07:17,156 --> 00:07:19,700
J'ai le Kayexalate,
j'ai fait les radios,

121
00:07:19,783 --> 00:07:22,494
je suis à vous.
Faites de moi ce que vous voulez.

122
00:07:22,578 --> 00:07:24,872
Ce n'est pas ce que je voulais dire.

123
00:07:24,955 --> 00:07:28,542
Je veux que vous vous serviez de moi.
Peu importe si c'est dégradant.

124
00:07:28,625 --> 00:07:29,877
Non, non...

125
00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:33,714
Je sais que vous aimez torturer
les gens, et je suis partante.

126
00:07:33,797 --> 00:07:36,550
- Je veux vous satisfaire.
- Tais-toi, blanc-bec.

127
00:07:36,633 --> 00:07:40,554
Il faut faire une ponction lombaire
à ce patient. J'ai besoin d'aide.

128
00:07:40,637 --> 00:07:43,390
- Je suis prête.
- Bizut, active-toi.

129
00:07:43,474 --> 00:07:45,309
- Allez.
- Pardon.

130
00:07:45,392 --> 00:07:49,021
- Passe-lui la solution sur la peau.
- Vous sortez ça d'un film.

131
00:07:49,104 --> 00:07:52,024
Passe-lui la solution iodée
sur la peau.

132
00:07:52,107 --> 00:07:53,942
Chef !

133
00:08:00,074 --> 00:08:03,035
Dr Dorian, je vous dois des excuses.

134
00:08:03,118 --> 00:08:05,162
Je n'ai pas été clair en disant :

135
00:08:05,245 --> 00:08:07,664
"Restez en salle d'IRM
avec ma patiente. "

136
00:08:07,748 --> 00:08:10,959
Vous avez dû entendre :
"Partez et faites autre chose. "

137
00:08:11,043 --> 00:08:14,671
Je vais le reformuler
pour qu'il n'y ait pas de confusion.

138
00:08:14,755 --> 00:08:16,840
Ramenez vos fesses là-bas !

139
00:08:19,927 --> 00:08:22,387
Ça raisonne là-dedans !

140
00:08:22,471 --> 00:08:25,349
Pardon. Il n'y en a plus
que pour une minute.

141
00:08:27,017 --> 00:08:29,103
Ce bruit est bon signe ?

142
00:08:29,186 --> 00:08:32,272
- Pas vraiment.
- La machine est coincée ?

143
00:08:32,356 --> 00:08:35,651
"Coincée" est plutôt littéral.
Disons qu'elle ne bouge plus.

144
00:08:35,734 --> 00:08:39,363
- Sortez-moi de là !
- Non. Vous étiez inconsciente.

145
00:08:39,446 --> 00:08:42,950
Vous avez peut-être des séquelles.
Au moins, vous n'êtes pas claustro.

146
00:08:44,952 --> 00:08:47,371
- Ne me laissez pas.
- Je vous le promets.

147
00:08:48,580 --> 00:08:52,626
Le Dr Cox n'arrête pas de me biper.
Il m'a mis le grappin dessus.

148
00:08:52,709 --> 00:08:55,546
J'aimerais tant qu'il mette
son grappin sur moi !

149
00:08:55,629 --> 00:08:57,714
Coquine.

150
00:08:57,798 --> 00:09:00,300
Tu m'énerves à un point,
c'est à en hurler.

151
00:09:00,384 --> 00:09:03,303
Tu te plains
que le Dr Cox te mène la vie dure

152
00:09:03,387 --> 00:09:07,057
et tu ne réalises même pas
que tu es son bras droit.

153
00:09:07,141 --> 00:09:10,728
- Tu exagères...
- Que t'a-t-il fait faire aujourd'hui ?

154
00:09:10,811 --> 00:09:13,605
J'ai intubé et extubé Mme Pollard,

155
00:09:13,689 --> 00:09:17,735
posé un cathéter sur M. Kalka, fait
une paracentèse, une artère radiale,

156
00:09:17,818 --> 00:09:21,238
et j'ai placé un stimulateur
cardiaque transveineux.

157
00:09:21,321 --> 00:09:24,408
Pourquoi ?
Qu'est-ce que tu as fait, toi ?

158
00:09:27,619 --> 00:09:29,913
Lait, pas de sucre.

159
00:09:31,749 --> 00:09:33,917
Il prend du sucre, pas de lait.

160
00:09:38,839 --> 00:09:41,091
Mon bras me tue !

161
00:09:41,175 --> 00:09:43,719
Bon. Ça ne rentre pas.

162
00:09:43,802 --> 00:09:46,096
Ah bon ? Essayez les coups de pied !

163
00:09:46,180 --> 00:09:49,600
- Je vais voir un orthopédiste.
- Dépêchez-vous.

164
00:09:49,683 --> 00:09:51,769
Il n'y a pas pire que lui.

165
00:09:51,852 --> 00:09:54,605
Soyez gentil. C'est mon petit copain.

166
00:09:54,688 --> 00:09:58,192
- Pas pour longtemps.
- Je vous demande pardon ?

167
00:09:58,275 --> 00:10:01,111
Il crevait d'envie de partir en courant.

168
00:10:01,195 --> 00:10:04,531
- Il n'est pas parti en courant.
- C'est vrai.

169
00:10:04,615 --> 00:10:08,285
Il a décampé comme s'il était
poursuivi par des abeilles tueuses.

170
00:10:08,368 --> 00:10:11,538
Bon. Il a dit de continuer à tirer.

171
00:10:11,622 --> 00:10:13,582
Super.

172
00:10:13,665 --> 00:10:17,127
Je n'ai pas l'air grosse
dans cette machine ?

173
00:10:17,211 --> 00:10:18,837
Je dirais plutôt opulente.

174
00:10:20,130 --> 00:10:23,467
- JD ?
- Tout va bien. Je suis là.

175
00:10:26,011 --> 00:10:28,305
Vous êtes adorable.

176
00:10:28,389 --> 00:10:32,017
J'ai vraiment l'impression
que le courant passe.

177
00:10:32,101 --> 00:10:34,436
Je me demande à quoi elle ressemble.

178
00:10:35,479 --> 00:10:38,607
Pourquoi je suis toujours
dans tes fantasmes ?

179
00:10:38,690 --> 00:10:41,193
Tu as un problème.

180
00:10:42,528 --> 00:10:44,947
Pourquoi me serrez-vous les doigts ?

181
00:10:45,030 --> 00:10:49,118
Je ne vérifie pas
si vous portez une alliance.

182
00:10:49,201 --> 00:10:51,286
C'est bien parti.

183
00:10:52,871 --> 00:10:55,707
C'est mal parti.

184
00:10:55,791 --> 00:10:58,502
Désolé pour le déjeuner.
Je suis surmené.

185
00:10:58,585 --> 00:11:02,423
Ce n'est rien. En rentrant,
on ira tout de suite se coucher.

186
00:11:02,506 --> 00:11:04,383
Le truc, c'est que je suis crevé,

187
00:11:04,466 --> 00:11:09,012
donc ce serait mieux
que tu couches chez toi, ce soir.

188
00:11:11,682 --> 00:11:13,767
On se comprend.

189
00:11:15,811 --> 00:11:17,896
- Quoi ?
- Pas de sarcasme,

190
00:11:17,980 --> 00:11:22,568
sinon tu n'iras pas t'amuser
avec les autres enfants sur la plage.

191
00:11:22,651 --> 00:11:25,779
Je pensais bien sûr
à la fille de la salle d'IRM

192
00:11:25,863 --> 00:11:31,201
mais donner à une amie la chance
de briller était aussi important.

193
00:11:31,285 --> 00:11:35,664
C'est le Dr Kelso. Il m'a demandé
de rester avec sa patiente.

194
00:11:35,748 --> 00:11:40,711
C'est la dernière manche. Si tu n'es pas
l'attrapeur, qui le sera ?

195
00:11:45,924 --> 00:11:47,968
- Quoi ?
- Balle en jeu !

196
00:11:49,970 --> 00:11:52,765
Allez. Par ici.
Lancez-la !

197
00:12:00,689 --> 00:12:03,108
Dr Cox, faites-moi confiance.

198
00:12:03,192 --> 00:12:05,819
J'étais dans les cinq premiers
de ma classe.

199
00:12:05,903 --> 00:12:09,656
C'est le bruit que je fais
quand quelqu'un me ment.

200
00:12:09,740 --> 00:12:11,575
Mais le match sera...

201
00:12:11,658 --> 00:12:13,077
- Ne le dis pas !
... parfait !

202
00:12:13,160 --> 00:12:15,913
Quelle partie de "ne le dis pas"
n'as-tu pas compris ?

203
00:12:15,996 --> 00:12:20,667
"Ne" ou "le dis pas" ?
Aide-moi à t'aider, Barbie.

204
00:12:25,422 --> 00:12:27,716
Je devrais me remettre au travail.

205
00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:29,885
Ce serait bien.

206
00:12:33,263 --> 00:12:36,141
- Elliot...
- Je n'ai pas le temps !

207
00:12:36,225 --> 00:12:38,685
On a tous
des choses importantes à faire.

208
00:12:38,769 --> 00:12:41,397
Tu sais comment est Alex Hanson ?

209
00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:43,399
Il n'est pas mal.

210
00:12:43,482 --> 00:12:47,069
Je ne sais pas.
Je ne regarde pas les femmes.

211
00:12:47,152 --> 00:12:50,447
Petit, je suis marié
depuis plus de 30 ans.

212
00:12:50,531 --> 00:12:53,784
Sinon, j'aurais tenté ma chance.
Carrément.

213
00:12:53,867 --> 00:12:56,912
Qu'est-ce que ça peut bien faire ?
Personne ne t'aimera.

214
00:12:56,995 --> 00:12:59,706
Je ne la trouve pas jolie,
mais ma femme m'a plaqué,

215
00:12:59,790 --> 00:13:04,002
et depuis, quand je regarde
une femme, je vois le diable.

216
00:13:05,963 --> 00:13:08,382
- Quelque chose ne va pas.
- Tout va bien.

217
00:13:08,465 --> 00:13:11,301
Tu dis toujours ça, tu boudes
et après, tu m'en parles.

218
00:13:11,385 --> 00:13:15,055
On ne se connaît pas assez pour
que je fasse "toujours" quelque chose.

219
00:13:15,139 --> 00:13:16,598
Vous me faites toujours mal.

220
00:13:16,682 --> 00:13:20,561
- Tu es sur la défensive ?
- Je ne suis pas sur la défensive.

221
00:13:20,644 --> 00:13:22,396
Si, un peu.

222
00:13:22,479 --> 00:13:27,693
Turk, respire un bon coup
et dis-moi ce qui ne va pas.

223
00:13:28,819 --> 00:13:30,362
Ça l'a fait, là.

224
00:13:30,446 --> 00:13:32,614
Alors on a fini.

225
00:13:36,869 --> 00:13:39,329
Barbie, la terre commence à trembler.

226
00:13:39,413 --> 00:13:41,874
Je commence les hypertenseurs.

227
00:13:41,957 --> 00:13:44,084
Ou tu pourrais le transfuser.

228
00:13:44,168 --> 00:13:47,171
- Mais c'est plus risqué.
- Mon instinct m'en a dissuadé.

229
00:13:47,254 --> 00:13:50,716
- Que dit-on à propos de l'instinct ?
- Qu'il faut le suivre.

230
00:13:50,799 --> 00:13:52,134
- C'est ça ?
- Je devrais ?

231
00:13:52,217 --> 00:13:56,930
Tu auras le temps d'y réfléchir
sur le banc de touche. Donne-moi ça.

232
00:13:57,014 --> 00:14:01,351
Fiche le camp. Allez.
Va chez le coiffeur.

233
00:14:01,560 --> 00:14:04,229
"Je devrais" ?

234
00:14:04,313 --> 00:14:07,399
Elle a demandé comment tu étais ?

235
00:14:07,483 --> 00:14:11,945
Non, elle sait que je suis beau.
J'ai la voix rauque. "Salut, poupée. "

236
00:14:12,029 --> 00:14:14,490
Écoute ce que ton cœur te dit.

237
00:14:14,573 --> 00:14:16,450
Mon cœur déteste les mochetés.

238
00:14:16,533 --> 00:14:18,952
Voilà votre problème,
à vous les hommes.

239
00:14:19,036 --> 00:14:23,290
Vous avez peur de vos sentiments.
J'en ai ras le bol.

240
00:14:23,373 --> 00:14:25,876
Alors, tu sais comment elle est ?

241
00:14:25,959 --> 00:14:28,170
Oui. Mais je ne te le dirai pas.

242
00:14:28,253 --> 00:14:33,133
Dis-le-moi. Elle ressemble
à Jimmie Walker ?

243
00:14:35,594 --> 00:14:39,306
La semelle de vos pantoufles
est plutôt lisse.

244
00:14:39,390 --> 00:14:43,602
Elles peuvent peut-être expliquer
l'incident de ce matin.

245
00:14:43,685 --> 00:14:46,855
Ce sont des chaussons d'hôpital,
imbécile.

246
00:14:46,939 --> 00:14:49,316
Et maintenant, je suis un imbécile.

247
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:53,654
Dr Dorian, invitez donc
Mlle Hanson à dîner.

248
00:14:53,737 --> 00:14:57,074
Dr Kelso, je ne vais pas
vous intenter un procès.

249
00:14:57,157 --> 00:15:00,244
Il s'avère que je n'ai
qu'une légère commotion.

250
00:15:00,327 --> 00:15:02,329
Alex ? Il est parti.

251
00:15:02,413 --> 00:15:07,042
Alors, dans quel restaurant
m'emmenez-vous ?

252
00:15:07,126 --> 00:15:10,504
Ce n'est pas méchant
de vouloir attendre de la voir.

253
00:15:10,587 --> 00:15:13,465
Je plaisante. Vous n'avez pas
à m'inviter à dîner.

254
00:15:13,549 --> 00:15:16,969
Vous êtes sûre ?
Parce que... D'accord.

255
00:15:18,345 --> 00:15:20,431
Je dois y aller. Désolé.

256
00:15:20,514 --> 00:15:23,934
Ne vous en faites pas.
On se reverra.

257
00:15:24,017 --> 00:15:26,311
JD, j'étais contente
que vous soyez là...

258
00:15:26,395 --> 00:15:29,314
Mlle Hanson, il est parti.

259
00:15:29,398 --> 00:15:33,861
À votre place, je ferais tout
pour les traîner en justice.

260
00:15:33,944 --> 00:15:35,112
C'est vrai ?

261
00:15:35,195 --> 00:15:37,740
On pourrait s'enfuir ensemble.

262
00:15:39,950 --> 00:15:45,164
Tu sais quoi faire. Sois franc
avec Carla, même si c'est dur.

263
00:15:45,247 --> 00:15:47,416
C'est ce que je déteste le plus.

264
00:15:49,168 --> 00:15:52,421
Je ne sais pas comment faire
avec le Dr Cox.

265
00:15:52,504 --> 00:15:56,425
- Qu'est-ce qui se passe ?
- Je dis une chose, il dit l'inverse.

266
00:15:56,508 --> 00:15:58,385
Je ne supporte plus.

267
00:15:58,469 --> 00:16:02,056
Deviens lesbienne
et sors avec un top model !

268
00:16:02,139 --> 00:16:06,226
- Quel est le rapport ?
- J'ai pensé que ce serait sexy.

269
00:16:06,310 --> 00:16:12,066
Il te teste. N'aie pas peur
d'être en désaccord avec lui.

270
00:16:12,149 --> 00:16:15,569
- Tu as peur, toi.
- Mais je persévère.

271
00:16:17,154 --> 00:16:19,364
Reste dans le jeu, Elliot.

272
00:18:07,848 --> 00:18:09,516
Bon sang !

273
00:18:12,102 --> 00:18:14,188
On y était presque. Merde !

274
00:18:17,316 --> 00:18:18,984
Pardon.

275
00:18:19,068 --> 00:18:21,111
Je m'en remettrai.

276
00:18:25,449 --> 00:18:27,201
Le match parfait.

277
00:18:28,327 --> 00:18:29,369
Déclare-le.

278
00:18:29,453 --> 00:18:33,582
Il reste cinq minutes, il n'y a que
nous deux. Pourquoi ne pas attendre ?

279
00:18:33,665 --> 00:18:35,667
Déclare-le.

280
00:18:38,837 --> 00:18:40,380
Non.

281
00:18:40,464 --> 00:18:42,674
On y compte tous, donc non.

282
00:18:42,758 --> 00:18:44,885
Je ne déclare rien.

283
00:18:45,594 --> 00:18:50,349
C'est le truc le plus bête
qu'on m'ait dit depuis longtemps.

284
00:18:50,432 --> 00:18:55,229
Une seule frappe, ce n'est pas grave.
C'est miraculeux, d'ailleurs.

285
00:18:55,312 --> 00:18:59,650
Et je ne voudrais pas que tu dévalorises
l'éternelle quête de la perfection

286
00:18:59,733 --> 00:19:03,195
juste parce que tu veux
que tout le monde soit heureux.

287
00:19:03,278 --> 00:19:04,696
Déclare-le.

288
00:19:04,780 --> 00:19:07,699
Heure du décès, 23h55.

289
00:19:08,409 --> 00:19:10,536
C'est bien.

290
00:19:10,619 --> 00:19:13,330
Va te chercher une tasse de café.

291
00:19:13,414 --> 00:19:15,874
Un autre match commence
dans quatre minutes.

292
00:19:22,965 --> 00:19:25,300
Carla !

293
00:19:25,384 --> 00:19:27,928
Carla, attends !

294
00:19:28,011 --> 00:19:29,430
Où vas-tu ?

295
00:19:29,513 --> 00:19:32,641
Je vais coucher chez moi,
ce soir, comme prévu.

296
00:19:32,725 --> 00:19:35,144
Tu veux savoir
ce qui ne va pas ? C'est ça.

297
00:19:35,227 --> 00:19:38,063
"Je vais chez moi,
ce soir, comme prévu. "

298
00:19:38,147 --> 00:19:40,190
Ce que tu es sexy.

299
00:19:40,274 --> 00:19:43,861
J'ai bien réfléchi.
Et, tu sais...

300
00:19:43,944 --> 00:19:46,989
On a passé la phase excitante
du début d'une relation

301
00:19:47,072 --> 00:19:48,991
et il ne reste plus que nous.

302
00:19:49,074 --> 00:19:51,618
Bébé, je dois te le dire.
Tu me rends fou.

303
00:19:51,702 --> 00:19:55,956
Tu me piques mes frites, tu me donnes
des ordres devant mes copains.

304
00:19:56,039 --> 00:19:58,500
Tu as dit
que les femmes fortes t'excitaient.

305
00:19:58,584 --> 00:20:04,089
On sait ce que tu vas faire
alors fais-le, que je rentre chez moi.

306
00:20:04,173 --> 00:20:05,215
D'accord.

307
00:20:10,846 --> 00:20:12,681
Je t'aime.

308
00:20:14,224 --> 00:20:17,144
Tu m'agaces plus
que je ne l'aurais jamais imaginé

309
00:20:17,227 --> 00:20:20,522
mais je veux passer
chaque minute avec toi.

310
00:20:23,192 --> 00:20:24,943
Moi aussi.

311
00:20:25,027 --> 00:20:26,695
Ah oui ?

312
00:20:27,905 --> 00:20:30,115
Je t'aime.

313
00:20:33,452 --> 00:20:35,829
Je ne comprends pas.
Pourquoi tu me fais ça ?

314
00:20:35,913 --> 00:20:40,125
Je voulais juste coucher avec une
infirmière sexy et me voilà amoureux ?

315
00:20:40,209 --> 00:20:43,212
Ça arrive, chéri.

316
00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:50,010
Récemment, j'ai pensé
aux risques qu'on prend...

317
00:20:50,094 --> 00:20:53,347
Fais une recherche de toxiques
et des analyses pour le 37.

318
00:20:53,430 --> 00:20:55,015
Tu sauras gérer ?

319
00:20:55,099 --> 00:20:56,558
- Oui.
- C'est bien.

320
00:20:56,642 --> 00:21:01,063
Au second étage... Il y a des tas
de trucs que je veux que tu fasses.

321
00:21:01,146 --> 00:21:04,066
Il s'agit simplement de vaincre sa peur.

322
00:21:04,149 --> 00:21:07,194
Car chaque fois qu'on prend
un gros risque dans sa vie,

323
00:21:07,277 --> 00:21:10,906
quelle que soit l'issue,
on est content de l'avoir fait.

324
00:21:13,117 --> 00:21:15,327
Attendez ! Arrêtez la machine.

325
00:21:15,411 --> 00:21:19,164
- Qu'est-ce que vous faites ?
- Voulez-vous dîner avec moi ?

326
00:21:19,248 --> 00:21:21,792
Si je dis non,
me laisserez-vous sortir ?

327
00:21:21,875 --> 00:21:24,378
- Ce n'est pas sûr.
- Alors je dois dire oui.

328
00:21:24,461 --> 00:21:28,048
- Dites-le.
- Oui. J'aimerais beaucoup.

Open: Hospital -- Hall

J.D. emerges from the elevator.

Janitor: HEY!

J.D.: What?! I didn't say anything, I didn't do anything -- what imaginary slight have you concocted in that paranoid little brain of yours?

The Janitor points at the muddy tracks J.D. has made on his freshly mopped floor.

J.D.'s Thoughts: Crap.

J.D.: Well, shouldn't there be some sort of sign that say---

The Janitor holds up a "wet floor" sign.

J.D.: ...Oh. Look at that. Well, you should put it back down before someone slips and falls.

Janitor: Oh, is that what I should do. Good. Because I make most of my decisions based on your opinion.

J.D. walks on.

Janitor: You know what, I'm thinking of splitting up with the wife -- maybe you could mull that one over, get back to me? We can powwow?

A woman walks behind him to the elevator and, with a shriek, slips on the wet floor, the paperwork she was carrying flying into the air.

Janitor: [holding up the sign] The floor is wet, ma'am. Little help over here! Little help!

~*~

I.C.U -- Nurses' Station

Nurse Roberts: Move it or lose it, Q-Tip!

Elliot: [giggling] "Q-Tip"! 'Cause you're skinny and your head's fuzzy.

J.D.: Something's going down.

Dr. Cox: All right, bring it in here, you knuckle-heads. Come on, take a knee if you need to, you confound-its. I have been on since midnight -- so I stand here with my usual level of contempt for all of you, but with the added wrinkle of having thirteen cups of Nurse Roberts' piss-poor excuse for coffee passing pretty much straight through me. The not-so-hidden message being, of course, that if you screw up today, I'm gonna hit ya hard! I'm gonna hit ya fast! Now then, I think some of you may have noticed that all twenty-seven of the patients that were here in the I.C.U. when I started last night are still alive; and I damn-sure intend for them to still be breathing when I get the hell out of here at midnight. I think you understand what kind of opportunity we have in front of us.

Elliot: What opportunity?

Doug: No; shush, shush.

J.D.: Shut up!

J.D.: You see, in baseball, when a pitcher's really hot -- no one talks to him, no one looks at him, you just stay out of his way!

Elliot: Why are you talking about baseball?

Dr. Cox: Because you should never, _ever_ jinx a pitcher when he has a chance to throw a perfect game! My GOD, Barbie, how do you put your bra and panties on in the morning?! All by yourself! It's...remarkable!

J.D.: See, 'cause he's the pitcher---

Elliot: Yeah, I get it now!

~*~

OPENING THEME

COMMERCIAL

~*~

Re-open: I.C.U.

J.D.'s Thoughts: Getting a chance to be a part of a perfect game is like a once in a lifetime opportunity -- it just never happens.

His beeper goes off.

J.D.'s Thoughts: Which is why I don't mind Dr. Cox paging me for the thirteenth time this last hour.

J.D.'s Narration: You see, the I.C.U. is where all the most critical cases get turfed. So many patients die here, you start to think of death as just another co-worker -- always looking over your shoulder with the same annoying demands as every one else you work with.

*** Fantasy Sequence: In a flash of lightning, The Grim Reaper appears before J.D.

Death: DR. DORIAN. Listen, I know you're busy, but my daughter's selling cookies.

J.D.: Put me down for two boxes of those mint thingies.

Death: She's in second place in her troop; 'course, if that girl who's in first keeps doing as well as she's doing, we're just gonna take her!

There's an ominous boom of thunder as Death cackles.

The daughter giggles.

Death cackles again.

As does the daughter.

****

Dr. Cox: [to an unconscious patient] What, exactly, do you think you're gonna do, cash it in? In your face!

Dr. Cox: You're fine; thank you. Barbie!

Elliot: Whatever you need, Dr. Cox, I'm your girl!

Dr. Cox: Peachy. Now get down to the pharmacy and get me thirty grams of Kayexalate -- and don't dilly-dally around trying to refill your prescription of Prozac, you're on my time now. Go, go, go.

She leaves.

Dr. Cox: Nervous guy.

Doug: Yessir!

He stumbles past the nurses to listen to Dr. Cox.

Nurse: Excuse me!

Dr. Cox: Go down to Bed 18 and get me his tox-screen; and you better cross your fingers that the news is good, because if it's not I'm blaming you.

Dr. Cox: And Newbie: I want you to start a drain on the purulent pericarditis in Bed 23 -- now that's a tricky bastard, he's tried to die five times on me already today. Keep an eye on him.

J.D.: I'm your wing man, Maverick!

J.D.: I was watching, uh, 'Top Gun'. Did you know that Goose is actually the guy from 'E.R.'?

Dr. Cox: No, I didn't! But--but, please, keep talking!

J.D.'s Narration: You really do have to keep an eye on things around here, 'cause just when it seems like everything's going great....

Cut to...

The Cafeteria

J.D.'s Narration: ...that's when the tiniest thing can throw it all out of whack.

Carla takes a fry from Turk's plate.

Turk: What are you doing? When the lunch-lady asked "French fries," you said no.

Carla: Yeah...but I wanted french fries.

Turk: So why didn't you _order_ fries?

Carla: 'Cause I can't _have_ french fries. Duh!

He grabs handfuls of his fries from his plate and throws them onto hers.

Turk: Here. Have 'em all.

Carla: Wha---?

Turk: Have a fry salad.

He gets up and leaves.

Carla: Tu--what the? Turk? Baby, come on!

Nurse Roberts sits down at the table.

Nurse Roberts: Girlfriend, you know I can not have french fries.

She takes one off Carla's plate and eats it.

~*~

I.C.U.(?)

Dr. Kelso: Dr. Dorian, I need a favor.

J.D.: Actually, sir, I'm crazy-busy today.

Dr. Kelso: Well, that's just fine, then, kiddo. I'm not going to be able to make the board meeting today -- I'm going to be tied up all afternoon at Dr. Dorian's pity party. Should I bring something? Maybe I could rent you a clown.

J.D.: A drunk clown hurt me once.

Dr. Kelso: Just listen to the damn lawyer. Go, Tom.

Lawyer: Uh, it's Ted, but hey, it's only been twelve years. This morning, one of the social workers that covers this hospital slipped and [smacks his head] knocked herself unconscious; we're concerned she might turn around and sue us. If that happens, some of the higher-ups' heads could roll!

He laughs at the sweet thought.

Dr. Kelso: The point is that people are less likely to sue an institution if we can put a friendly face on it. You've got a friendly face.

He squeezes J.D.'s cheeks.

J.D.: [muffled] But, sir, I---

Dr. Kelso: Sacred Heart is calling for your help, sport. Will you accept the call? 'Berring!'

Lawyer: Oh! Uh... 'Ber'--uh--'berring'.

Dr. Kelso: By the way, this is a special phone -- if you don't answer it, you get to be the intern who does the physicals over at the state prison!

J.D.: [makes a receiver out of his hand] Hello!

Cut to...

M.R.I. Room

A young woman, Alex, is stretched out on the bed of the machine, her head hidden from view.

J.D.: How are ya, I'm Dr. Dorian.

Alex: Alex Hanson.

She holds out her leg.

J.D. laughs and shakes her ankle.

J.D.: Nice to meet you.

Alex: Ooh, a firm handshake. I like that.

J.D.'s Thoughts: Hellooo.

His beeper goes off.

~*~

Treatment Room

Mike Davis (from Episode 9) sits on the exam table.

Carla: Mr. Davis; haven't seen you in three months -- it's gotta be a personal record for you.

Mike: Oh, by all means, ignore the dislocated shoulder and let's make small talk.

Carla: This oughtta help with the pain.

She prepares a syringe.

Carla: So...what'd you do?

Mike: Well, some -- ow! -- some random woman just pushed me off the bus; it was totally unprovoked.

Carla: [not buying it] Mr. Davis....

Mike: I may have told her that she smelled like wet ass.

Carla: There ya go -- be proud of who you are.

Mike: You wear too much mascara.

Carla: You be careful, now.

Turk enters.

Turk: Hey.

Carla: What are you doing here?

Turk: Cross-covering the day for a buddy of mine, I know---

Carla: Whatever. Thirty-six-year-old male, possible dislocated shoulder.

Turk: All right. So, how are you doing?

Mike: Well, it just got so cold in here, I think the swelling may have gone down. Brrrrr -- ow!

Turk: Yeah, I hope that hurts.

~*~

I.C.U.

Doug: Oh, no; no, no, no.

Dr. Cox: Is this the tox-screen? Oh, Dougie, this does _not_ bode well for you.

Doug: I know.

Dr. Cox: I'll tell you what: Second chance -- you go get the results of Mr. Churbin's unrinalysis; but if the numbers aren't good, I'm gonna take one of your kidneys and give it to him.

Doug runs off.

Dr. Cox: Ten bucks says I can make that kid wet himself before the day is over.

Nurse Roberts: Oh, everybody's afraid of Mr. Man!

Dr. Cox: Laverne, you give good sex!

Elliot: Dr. Cox! I got the Kayexalate _and_ I pulled all the x-rays you asked for, so I am yours for the night -- do whatever you want with me. Oh! My God! Um, that totally came out wrong! I just--I meant that I want you to use me, and I don't care how degrading it is.

Dr. Cox: What?

Elliot: No...no! No, it's just that I know you like torturing people, and I am totally up for that. [whines] I just want to make you happy!

Nurse Roberts: Marshmallow, hush.

Dr. Cox: This guy needs a lumbar puncture, and I need an extra set of hands. Get over here.

Elliot: Ready and rearing!

Dr. Cox: Not you. Ginger, get the lead out! [whistles] Come on.

J.D.: Excuse me.

Dr. Cox: It puts the lotion on the skin.

J.D.: Oh, so you can do movies and I can't.

Dr. Cox: It puts the damn iodine lotion on the skin -- gimme a break!

Nurse Roberts: Mr. Man!

~*~

I.C.U.(?)

Dr. Kelso: Dr. Dorian, I owe you an apology. Obviously I was unclear when I said, "Stay in the M.R.I. room with that patient." It must have sounded like, "Leave, and do other things."

J.D. starts to explain, but is interrupted.

Dr. Kelso: Let me rephrase it so there'll be no more confusion: Get your ass back down there!

Cut to...

The M.R.I. Room

J.D. is leaning on the machine, drumming his fingers.

Alex: You have no idea how loud that is in here!

J.D.: Oh, I'm sorry. The good news is you'll be done in a second.

There's a clunking noise from the machine.

Alex: Was that a good sound?!

J.D. looks over at the lab technicians on the other side of the observation window scrambling around to fix the problem.

J.D.: Not that good a sound.

Alex: Oh, my God! Is it stuck!?

J.D.: Well, stuck is such a literal term. It's more like, not moving.

Alex: Well, pull me the hell out of here!

J.D.: I can't; you were knocked unconscious, you could have a serious head injury. Just be glad you're not claustrophobic.

Alex screams.

Surprised, J.D. screams, too, then laughs.

Alex: Promise you won't leave me.

J.D.: I promise.

His beeper goes off.

Cut to...

The I.C.U.

J.D. steps out of the elevator.

 

J.D.: Dr. Cox must have my pager on speed dial. He's completely on top of me today.

Elliot: Oh, do you know how much I wish Dr. Cox was on top of me?

J.D.: [laughs] That's naughty!

Elliot: You make me so mad, I might actually scream! Every day you bitch and you bitch about how hard Dr. Cox is on you, and you don't even realize that you're his go-to guy.

J.D.: Oh, come on, you're over-reacting a little bit.

Elliot: What has he had you do today? Hm?

J.D.: Ummm.... He had me intubate and extubate Mrs. Pollard; float a Swan on Mr. Caulca; and then do two thoracenteses, a paracentesis, a radial art. line...oh, and then place a transvenous pacemaker for a complete heart-block. Why? What did you do?

Elliot: Oh, uh....

She pulls a cup out of the paper bag she's holding.

Elliot: Cream. No sugar.

J.D.: He takes it sugar, no cream.

Elliot screams.

Fade to...Treatment Room

Mr. Davis is screaming as Turk and Carla work on his shoulder.

Mike: My arm is breaking! My arm is breaking! Please!

They stop.

Turk: Okay! Okay! Okay. Okay, it's not going in.

Mike: Really! Why don't we try kicking it?

Turk: I'm gonna go talk to one of the orthopedics.

Turk exits the room.

Mike: Hurry back. God! That guy is the worst!

Carla: Oh, be nice. He's my boyfriend.

Mike: [scoffs] Not for long.

Carla: Excuse me?

Mike: Please! He's been dying to run out of here since the second he came in.

Carla: Oh, he did not _run_ out of here.

Mike: Oh, okay, I'm sorry, you're right -- it wasn't running, it was, uh, fleeing, like he was being chased by a swarm of killer bees.

Turk re-enters.

Turk: Okay, [claps] he said just keep pulling.

Mike: [sarcastic] Oh, well, goody.

~*~

M.R.I. Room

Alex: Does this big metal contraption make me look fat?

J.D.: [laughs] More chunky than fat.

As the lab techs work to get the machine going again, there's another clunking noise and a jolt.

Alex: [scared] J.D.!

J.D.: It's all right; I'm right here, I'm right here.

He takes hold of her hand, imagining electric sparks as they touch.

Alex: You're such a nice guy.

J.D.'s Thoughts: Whoa.... It really feels like there's something going on, here. I wonder what she looks like?

***Fantasy Sequence: The tray of the machine withdraws, and Alex turns out to be...Jimmie Walker.

Jimmie Walker: Why am I always in your fantasies!? You got a problem, man!

****

J.D.: Why are you squeezing all my fingers?

Alex: I'll tell you what I'm not doing: I'm not checking for a wedding ring....

J.D.'s Thoughts: I am so in.

His beeper goes off.

J.D.'s Thoughts: I'm right back out.

~*~

Treatment Room

Turk: I'm sorry about lunch today; I guess I'm a little over-tired.

Carla: Oh, that's okay, Sweetie. When we get home, you can just go right to bed.

Turk: Yeah, that's the thing -- I'm a little beat, so it might be better if you crash at your place tonight.

Mike: Bzz-bzz-bzz-bzz-bzz-bzz-bzz-bzz!

They look at him.

Mike: It's a private joke.

~*~

I.C.U.

J.D.: What now?

Dr. Cox: Watch the attitude, Gidget, or I won't let you go down to the bonfire with the other beach bunnies. Now, I wanna do a once-around to make sure that everybody's....

He continues talking, but is drowned out by....

J.D.'s Narration: Sure, I was probably thinking a little bit about the M.R.I. girl, but I also like to believe that, perfect game or not, giving a friend the chance to shine was just as important to me.

J.D.: Sir, it's, uh, Dr. Kelso -- he's making me baby-sit this patient downstairs.

Dr. Cox: Newbie! It's the bottom of the ninth -- if you're not gonna be my catcher, just exactly who is?

***Fantasy Sequence: Stadium organ music plays as they look over at Elliot, in full catcher's equipment, who crouches down, pounding her mitt.

Dr. Cox: Oh, no.

Elliot: What?

Unseen Umpire: Play ball!

There's the sound of the crowd cheering and a strike. There's a sound of glass shattering as Elliot misses the catch -- she's oblivious.

Elliot: Come on, baby, right here! Bring it in!

****

~*~

COMMERCIAL

~*~

Re-open: I.C.U.

Elliot: Look, Dr. Cox, you can trust me to help you. For gosh sakes, I was top five in my class!

Dr. Cox: Enggghhh! That's the noise I make when somebody lies to me.

Elliot: Okay! I was eighth -- but I can do this! I'll get us this perfect---

Dr. Cox: Don't say it!

Elliot: ...The perfect game!

Dr. Cox: No, don't say---! What part of "don't say it" did you not understand? Was is the "don't"? Or was it the "say it"? Help me to help you, Barbie. Help me to help you; help me to help you; help me to help you.

Elliot: I, um...should get to work.

Dr. Cox: That would be lovely.

Elliot: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Cox: Wow!

J.D.: Hey, Elliot, do you---

Elliot: No time!

J.D.'s Thoughts: We all have important things to do.

Cut to...?

J.D.: Hey, do you know what Alex Hanson looks like?

Doug: He's okay.

Cut to...?

Nurse Roberts: I don't know. I don't look at the ladies.

Cut to...?

Dr. Kelso: Young man, I've been married for over three decades. I would've gone there, though; oh, yes, I would've.

Cut to...?

Janitor: Who cares? No one'll ever love you.

Cut to...?

Lawyer: I don't find her pretty; but since my wife left, when I look at a woman, I find it hard to see past the evil. Heh.

Cut to...

Treatment Room

Carla and Turk are struggling with Mr. Davis' shoulder.

Carla: I know something's wrong.

Turk: Nothing's wrong.

Carla: You always say nothing's wrong, then you sulk for a week and then you finally tell me.

Turk: First of all, we haven't known each other long enough for me to "always" be doing anything.

Mike: Well, I've only known you for ten minutes, and you're always hurting me.

Carla: Oh, so now you're getting defensive?

Turk: Woman, I am _not_ defensive.

Mike: Yeah, y'are, a little bit.

Carla: Turk, we're stuck here, why don't you just take a deep breath and tell me what's wrong?

There's a snapping sound.

Mike: OW! That did it!

Turk: Well, I guess we're done here.

He leaves.

~*~

I.C.U.

Dr. Cox: Barbie, plates are wobbling everywhere.

Elliot: His H & H dropped three grams, so I'm starting pressers.

Dr. Cox: Or, you could transfuse him.

Elliot: Okay, I'll do that.

Dr. Cox: Although, transfusions are riskier.

Elliot: Which is why my first instinct was to do pressers.

Dr. Cox: You know what they say about your first instincts.

Elliot: Yeah: You should always stick with them. Shouldn't you?

Dr. Cox: Should you?

Elliot: Should I?

Dr. Cox: "Should I?" You'll have plenty of time to think about it on the bench, because that's where you're headed. Now go. Gimme this, precious. [takes the chart] Get outta here. Go ahead. Go, go.

She whines.

Dr. Cox: Hippity-hop to the barber shop.

She sulks off.

Dr. Cox: [to self] "Should I?" [groans]

~*~

Hall

Carla: You want to know what she looks like...did she ask what you look like?

J.D.: No, she can tell I'm handsome -- I have a husky voice: [a'la the Big Bopper] "Hellllooo, baby!"

Carla: Well, why don't you look into your heart and see how it feels?

J.D.: My heart hates uggos.

Carla: You know what, that's exactly what's wrong with you men. You're all so superficial, so afraid of what you really feel. I'm so sick of it!

J.D.: So, do you know what she looks like?

Carla: Yeah, I do. But I ain't telling you.

Carla: Ohh.... Come on, just tell me, does she look anything like Jimmie Walker?

~*~

M.R.I. Room

Lawyer: You know, I'm noticing that the bottoms of your slippers are rather slick -- perhaps they contributed in some way to the incident this morning.

Dr. Kelso: Those are hospital booties, you moron!

Lawyer: And now I'm a moron.

J.D. comes in.

Dr. Kelso: Dr. Dorian! Why don't you take Miss Hanson out for a lovely dinner?

Alex: Dr. Kelso, I'm not suing the hospital.

Dr. Kelso: Oh!

He exits.

Alex: [continuing] It turns out I only have a mild concussion, and plus, I work here and that's---

J.D.: Uhh, Alex, he's gone.

Alex: Oh. So, what, uh, restaurant are you taking me to?

J.D.'s Thoughts: You know, you're not a bad guy if you wanna wait and see what she looks like.

Alex: I'm kidding! [laughs] You don't have to take me out to dinner.

J.D.: Ohhh....ohh....are you sure? 'Cause....okay.

His beeper goes off.

J.D.: Ah! I gotta go. Sorry.

He exits the room.

Alex: Hey, yeah, yeah, don't sweat it -- I mean, we'll see each other around. J.D., listen, I'm really glad that you were---

Lawyer: Miss Hanson, he's gone.

Alex: Oh.

Lawyer: You know, if I were in your slippers, I'd sue this hospital for all it's worth.

Alex: Really?

Lawyer: We could run away together.

~*~

Doctors' Lounge

J.D. is sitting in one of the chairs next to the couch, stretched across which is Turk.

J.D.: Come on, dude, you know what to do: You just gotta be straight with Carla, no matter how hard it is.

Turk: I hate this part.

He gets up and leaves. Elliot comes in and takes his place on the couch.

Elliot: I just don't know what to do about Dr. Cox!

J.D.: What the hell is going on, here?

Elliot: It's like, I say one thing, he says the other. I seriously can't take it anymore.

J.D.: Fine, why don't you just quit, become a lesbian, and hook up with some hot model?

Elliot: What does that have to do with anything?

J.D.: I don't know...I just thought it'd be hot. Elliot, he's testing you. If you ever want Cox to respect you, you can't be afraid to disagree with him.

Elliot: You're afraid.

J.D.: But I still do it. Get back in the game, Elliot.

He gets up and leaves her with her thoughts.

Cut to...

I.C.U.

Five For Fighting's "Easy Tonight" montage: Elliot and Dr. Cox slave hard all night to attain the perfect game.

The song concludes at the end of their attempt to save a flat-line.

Dr. Cox: Ah! Dammit!

He slams the defibrillator paddles into the tray and turns off the squealing monitor.

Dr. Cox: Dammit! Dammit! So close! DAMMIT!

She stares at him.

Dr. Cox: I'm sorry. I'm fine.

He bashes some equipment across the room.

Dr. Cox: Perfect game! ...Call it.

Elliot: Just five minutes left, and it's just the two of us here! Couldn't we just...wait?

Dr. Cox: Just...call it.

He strips off his gloves and starts out the door.

Elliot: No. We all need this, so no. I won't call it.

Dr. Cox: You know, that's probably the dumbest thing anybody's said to me around here in a long time. There's nothing wrong with a one-hitter, there, Barbie. In fact, it's miraculous. And I won't have you of all people cheapen what should be an endless pursuit of perfection just because you want the world to laugh with you tonight. Now, call it.

Elliot: [bitterly, as she pulls off her gloves] Time of death: 11:55.

Dr. Cox: Good girl. Better go get yourself a cup of coffee -- new game starts in four minutes.

~*~

Admissions Area

Turk: Hey, Carla. Carla.... Wait! Where're you going?

Carla: I'm gonna go crash at my place tonight, like you said!

Turk: You wanna know what's wrong? _That's_ what's wrong: [whinily mimicking her] "I'm gonna go stay at m'place like you said."

Carla: God, you're so sexy right now.

Turk: I've been doing a lot of thinking, and, you know...we're past that whole new, exciting relationship phase, and...all that's left is us. Baby, I gotta tell you: You drive me crazy. All right? You take my french fries; you--you boss me around in front of my friends---

Carla: You said strong women turn you on!

Turk: Forget about it.

Carla: Look, we all know what you're gonna do, so why not be a man and do it so I can go home?

Turk: Okay.

Turk: I love you. You annoy me more than I ever thought possible, but...I want to spend every irritating minute with you.

Carla: Me too.

Turk: Yeah.

Carla: I love you.

They kiss.

Turk: Hey, I don't get it, though; why are you doing this to me? All I wanted to do was have sex with a foxy nurse, and...and now I'm in love?

Carla: Mm...Sweetie...it happens.

J.D.'s Narration: I've been thinking a lot lately about taking chances.

Cut to...

I.C.U.

Dr. Cox: I want you to run a tox-screen and a full blood work-up for the guy in 37 -- you can handle all that, right?

Elliot: Yeah.

Dr. Cox: Good girl. Up on the second floor, holy cow, there's a laundry list of stuff I want you to do....

J.D.'s Narration: ...And how it's really just about overcoming your fears. Because the truth is, every time you take a big risk in your life, no matter how it ends up, you're always glad you took it.

Cut to...

The M.R.I. Room

The lab techs have fixed the machine, Alex is slowly emerging.

J.D. runs in.

J.D.: Wait! Stop the machine!

He slaps the button.

Alex: What the hell are you doing!?

J.D.: Will you go out with me?

Alex: If I say no, will you still let me out of this thing?

J.D.: It's iffy.

Alex: Then I guess I have to say yes, don't I?

J.D.: So, say it.

Alex: Sure. I'd love to.

He pushes the button again, and the tray slides out.

He finally gets his first glimpse of her...but we do not.

J.D.: Huh.

 

END