Épisode Ma faute à moi S03E14 - Scrubs Saison 3

Openning - Sacred Heart-Doctor's Lounge: J.D. Turk and Elliot are sitting. JD has Elliot's
bare right foot in his hands and he is furiously scratching it for all his worth. Turk
looks on sitting next to J.D. but not getting involved in the activity.

JD Thoughts: As a doctor, there are certain procedures you just have a gift for.

Elliot: Oh. That feels so good. Right there. Yeah.

JD finishes and let's go of her right foot.

JD: Let's have the other foot.

Elliot reacts as though scalded and bolts upright in her chair.

Elliot: NO!

Both Turk and J.D. startle at her reaction and then look at her oddly.

Elliot: Ummm. Ummm. It's just that there is something wrong with my left foot. You guys
would think its really disgusting.

Scoffing like they' ve seen it all and nothing could freak them.

Turk: Elliot. I'm a surgeon. I cut people open.
&
JD: I'm a doctor. This has been in people.

Elliot: Okay. I have a huge bunion. of disgust gagging, wretching etc. when Elliot is not looking. They snap back to normal
expressions when she turns back> Sean's coming back in a few weeks. What am I supposed to
do?

JD: Well I think the obvious answer, is to draw Sean's face on it, and tell him you grew it
because you missed him.

Elliot gives him a not-so-amused look at his suggestion. Turk is a little more practical
in his advice.

Turk: Or...it's a simple surgery.

JD still wanting to score points off Sean, is not willing to give up his suggestion so
easily.

JD: Uhhh Turk, I think we already decided on Bunion-face.

Elliot has decided Turk makes more sense.

Elliot: Cut me the hell up.

JD: Dammit.

Sacred Heart - Nurses station Carla, Turk and an unnamed doctor. Carla hands him a chart.

Unnamed Doc: Thanks Nurse Espinoza.

Carla: Turk? If I decide to keep my last name after we get married, that's no big deal
right?

Turk: Course not baby. We'll just have one of those modern marriages where the husband
and wife don't love each other.

Shakes his head in disbelief at her suggestion and walks away from the desk looking a bit
hurt.

Carla: Turk! Wait! Turk! Turk! Whoah! and topples over the side out of view>

JD having just witnessed Carla lack-of-coordination from the other side of the room calls
out.

JD: You okay?

Carla: All good. "Thumbs-up" in response but kinda doubt she saw from her POV.

Cox and Jordon walk into the area

Jordon: It's Jack's first birthday, I want it to be special. I got a petting zoo for the
kids. And we need to figure out something great for the adults.

Cox: How about a Russian Roulette booth? And here's the kicker. We put bullets in ALL the
chambers. That way everyone<?> wins!

JD jumps into the conversation

JD: Will there be a pinata? Beause I need to know if I should bring my pinata helmet.

Jordon irritated that this isn't being taken seriously.

Jordon: Hup-pah-bah! Would you zip it nerd? The only reason I invited you is
because, for some reason, you have your own Sponge-Bob Squarepants costume.

Explaining as though it was no fault of his own.

JD: It was a gift.

JD Thoughts: From me to me.

Looks away wistfully. Jordon however is still not up for his antics.

Jordon: Anyhoo. I'm thinking that you probably shouldn't come.

JD: Why not?

Cox: Because her whole family is in town.

Danni enters and stands next to Jordon. Nice imagery. Cox and JD facing off against
Jordon and Danni.

Danni: Hey JD.

JD has a look of the deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming tractor-trailer upon
seeing Danni again.

JD Thoughts: Oh my god! What do you say to a girl you dumped three weeks ago?

JD: I destroyed that video tape we made.

Jordon: What tape?

Flashback

POV of a video camera with the flashing REC in the upper left corner of the screen with
focusing brackets in the four corners. JD and Danni are standing (clothed you hormonally
driven-pervs) in a field. JD is standing facing the camera and Danni on the right side of
the screen. She is gripping a golf club. She moves her arms back to move into a
foreswing. Due to her proximity to JD, her club drives right into JD's crotch. JD has the
look any guy would make after having a metal rod driven into their package unexpectedly.
(Actually who would take one expectedly in the nether regions? Eh, never mind.)

JD: Auuuuuuuuuuugh.

He crumples forward on his knees. After a second he gets up apparently fine (maybe wearing
a cup, I dunno). He starts to admonish Danni who did not change her stance during the
entire event.

JD: Danni, if you don't look concerned, no one in America's Funniest Home Videos is going
to think this is real.

Danni apparently bored of this activity, whines a little.

Danni: Can't we just go home and have sex?

JD: No! (I think he took a couple practice blows to the head considering the shorts she's
wearing) Again from the top.

End flashback

JD: Now I'll never meet Bob Saggat.

Cox looks at him in irritation and walk away.

Outside Sacred Heart, Jordon, Danni, Cox and JD and walking across the parking lot.

JD: So is their brother Ben coming to this thing too?

Cox: Oh yeah. He always has to make some grand entrance that he just winds up depressed
afterwards.

They walk next to a parked car.

JD: Why is that?

A pair of legs slams down on the hood of the car they were just walking next to, as though
the owner of the legs had jumped out of nowhere in the sky above. JD is so freaked out he
let's out a yell and loses his balance falling backwards, arms flailing, into a bush behind
him.

JD: Waaaauuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!

JD POV from the bush. Cox, Jordon and Danni are all unphased by the event and stand around
the car nonchalantly. The guy that jumped on the hood is Ben (Duh doesn't take a PhD to
figure that one out). Ben is the brother of Jordon and Danni. He made his appearance in
My Occurance . Ben and Cox get along great, and even take turns driving Jordon
nuts. Ben's hobby is taking Polaroid pictures of people. However he considers taking
pictures of people while they are posing for said picture to be "unreal/fake" so he prefers
to catch them off guard in their natural element. He's sort of like a lovable paparazzi
that you just can't hold a grudge against. He was diagnosed with leukemia in My Hero
but it went into remission and he assumedly was doing well. Enough of the
frickin re-cap get on with it

Cox: Cause he never surprises us.

Ben sits down on the trunk he just landed on and readies the Polaroid camera around his
neck. (Author's note if that was my car hood he landed on I would have been going for the
baseball bat in my trunk, course he probably would've have fallen though my hood and into
the engine block but save that for another time.)

Ben: Even a little bit?

Cox:
&
Jordon: No.
&
Danni:

JD: (OC in the bush) Thorns! Ah! Augh! Ow! Ouch! Ah!

Ben: Oh. Bloody. That's good. Now this time try and do it with your
head in a sort of a less jarring position.

JD: I can't!

Ben: That's perfect.

Openning credits

Sacred Heart lobby

Black & white photo of JD in the thorny bush. Only his head and chest are visible. The
picture shakes from side to side. Weird voice from OC accompanies motion of photo. Pans
back to reveal Ben in lobby holding the photo in one arm and making a goofy face and silly
voices.

Ben: I'm a prickly pear.

JD arm comes in to view to pluck the photo from Ben's grip.

JD: Can I see that for one second?
Thanks.

JD tries valiantly to rip the photo in half but the lamination is too great a challenge for
him. Cox steps behind and between JD and Ben. JD give a series of growls and yells as he
tries to rip the picture in half.

JD: DRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Cox: Not a strong moment for you Polly.

JD: I need to get it started first.
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Cox: So you still doing the whole kooky guy who brings his camera everywhere
thing?

Ben sidles up next to Cox and holds up his camera to face them so as to get picture of
them in the same shot.

Ben: Till the day I die.

Cox: Uh-huh.

Cox and Ben both smile as Ben takes the picture.

JD pauses from trying to get a rip started in the photo.

JD: Is this thing made of Teflon? (re. Photo)

Cox and Ben laugh at JD's efforts.

Ben: You know something? You have slept with both of my sisters. That means you
and I something in common.

(Author's note: Slip in awkward silence here.)

JD laughs a little thinking this is another joke, but seeing as though Ben and Cox are not
bursting out laughing that they are busting his chops its gets uncomfortable real fast.

(Author's note: Slip in more awkward silence here.)

JD: I have to get going.

(Author's note: Good move. Good move.)

After making sure JD is no longer within earshot.

Ben: To weird?

Cox:. Nahhhhhhh!

Whew! They were just messing with JD's head after all. Ben and Cox walk thru the lobby.

Cox: What's weird is that its taken my best friend so long to come and see my son. I mean
you get diagnosed with leukemia and then you disappear for two years. What is that about?

Ben: Well, it went into remission and I wanted to see the world in all its splendor and
glory.

Cox. How'd that go for you?

They arrive at elevators.

Ben: Ehh. Got some good picture though. Here check it out. black and white photos from his pocket> Look. Here's me at the Great Wall of China.

This is me at the pyramids. distinguish his surroundings, flips to another picture> What is this? Oh yeah. This was
you and me, like eight seconds ago.

Cox interrupts and cuts right to the chase.

Cox: So Jordon tells me that while you were on your world leukemia tour, you neglected to
visit a single doctor, medicine man, or scary shaman with the giant saucers in his ears.
Psst. Ben. Turns out cancer's the kind of ailment that you occasionally want to
check up on.

Ben: Fine. I'll get the exam.

Cox: Tell you what. I missed the hell out of you.
I did.

Ben: Thanks Perry. I missed you to.

They both lean towards in each other to kiss. They are just inches away from lip contact.
Then Cox turns away and slams his hands against the wall next to the elevator doors.

Cox: Damn! Doh oh oh oh! Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ben: YEAH! I AM THE KING OF GAY CHICKEN!

Cox: You deceiving...

Apparently they were playing some version of "Chicken" where the guy who breaks away from
the kiss first is the loser. They both board the just arrived elevator.

Exam room. Turk, Elliot, Carla. Elliot is sitting on the table with Turk and Carla facing
her. Elliot is still wearing her left sock.

Turk: You know Elliot you are eventually going to have to take off your sock.

Elliot: If I do, then from now on when one of you guys look at me all you're going to think
of me as giant gross foot. It's like that security guard
with the hook for the hand. All everybody thinks when they look at him is, big giant afro.

Carla: I do think that.

Turk: Okay you know what? Maybe it would be better if you
focused on how you are doing this for Sean. I mean if there was something about me
physically that bothered Carla, I would be excited to fix it for her. I mean it would
probably make our relationship even better. And more...

Carla: I hate your mole.

Turk: What?

Carla: What?

Turk: Baby you said it was your tickle button. You made me shave my mustache.

Carla: That was before I knew what was under there.

Turk reacts as if stung.

Flashback
Apartment bathroom. A younger Turk stands in front of a mirror. He is using an electric
razor to shave his mustache off. To the side a happy Carla observes him. He finishes
shaving.

Fantasy sequence
The camera zooms in close on his as if to exaggerate its size. An F/X shot has Turk's mole
with eyes and giant mouth.

Turk's mole: Whew. Finally a brother can breath.

Carla looks appalled at this denizen they unwittingly uncovered.

Turk's mole: Hello there.

End Flashback & Fantasy Sequence

Turk looks crestfallen at this new piece of info and as Carla shrugs guiltily at this
admission.

Nurses Station. Ted is shouting into a phone.

Ted: You wanna quit? Then quit! But you sir are a Worthless Peon! And you will always
will be a Worthless Peon! with his back to Ted reading a chart> Sir you know my band? The Worthless Peons. Well
Chris from shipping and receiving wants to go solo. We lose him, we lose our sex appeal.
He's the only one with hair. What do you think I should do?

Kelso: Ted you know my
rule about personal problems. I'm not interested unless it involves my loved ones. Or
possibly my wife. Doodle all your stuff to that. hangs his head down dejectedly. There is a flash of camera. Pan over to reveal Ben
leaning against the desk having just taken a picture of Ted while he was depressed.

Ted: Awwwwwwwwwwwwww. Let me powder my head first.

Behind Ted JD wheels an elderly patient (Mr. Taylor) in a wheelchair.

Mr. Taylor: So should I be worried about the old ticker?

JD: Oh Mr. Taylor. Let me worry about that for you. desk>

JD Thought: Oh my god! He's gonna die!

Cox grabs Ben's arm with one arm and grabs a file off the desk with the other. Cox drags
Ben over to JD as he approaches.

Cox: Ah Newbie. Perfect timing. I have to run a hundred
fifty dollars down to the police station cause Mr. Jinkies the Juggler, who Jordon just
has to have to for Jack's birthday party, just got a DUI.

Ben: Yeah!

Cox: Only me. Long story short. Your new job is to take young Ben here by the hand and
run every hematological screening test that we have.

Ben shoots his arm past Cox for JD to take.

JD: Dr. Cox I can't. I'm already covering for Doug. He's on a His-and-Her-Spa-Day with
his mom.

(Author's Note: Ew.)

Cox
& : WHAT?!
Ben

JD: Don't ask. The point is, I'm swamped. of earshot and lowers his voice> And I'm a little worried about Mr. Taylor here.

Mr. Taylor waves a friendly wave to the three boys. They smile back and wave and Ben takes
a picture with his Polaroid.

JD: Mr. Taylor.
&
Cox: Hiiiiii.

JD: For the life of me, I can't figure out his irregular heartbeat.

Cox: I already looked at his EKG, Newbie, and trust me. He's not gonna die in the next
thirty minutes. Now. Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Mr.Taylor.>

After Cox leaves, JD starts wheeling Mr. Taylor away, and Ben follows along. Ben decides
to continue with the earlier prank he was pulling on JD before.

Ben: Hey JD. My sister Danni is more of a gentle kisser, don't you think? But I find
Jordon is loaded more along the lines of teeth and tongue.

JD: Would you please stop it.

Ben: Fangs.

Plastic Surgeon's office. Turk and Carla are sitting behind the surgeon's desk. Turk is
playing with a rubber model of a breast lying on the top the desk.

Carla: This guy is supposed to be a great plastic surgeon.

She slaps his hand away, and Turk let's go of the breast model. The surgeon enters his
office and sits behind his desk.

Plastic Surgeon: Okaaaaaaaaaaaay. So who wants what, bigger or smaller?

Carla: My fiancé would like to have his mole removed.

Plastic Surgeon: That? That's cute. It's like a tickle button.

Turk: No it's not. It needs to go away.

Plastic Surgeon: All right. I'll scrap it away and we'll cover it with skin from the
backside of your prothiosis<?>.

JD, Turk, and Elliot are standing in front of the pharmacy window.

JD: So you would be a butt-face.

Elliot: That would be a funny nickname.

Turk: No it wouldn't.

JD: Yes it would. God, how long does it
take, to fill a bottle of pills!

An elderly doctor slowly walks in carrying two bottles of medicine she puts on the counter.

JD: I'm sorry Madeline. I hope we didn't wake you. It's just that I have fifty
patients and I... That's a code. bolts from the pharmacy leaving Turk and Elliot behind>

Turk: Watch I'm going to get out of this mole thing.

Elliot: Whatever, Butt-face.

Turk: Uncool.

Cafeteria. Kelso is sitting at a table alone, eating a slice of cake with a coffee. Ted
enters and sits next to him.

Ted: Sir, I think I figured out how my problem affects one of your loved ones. out an anguished sigh> It affects me.

Kelso: Swing and a miss. that was previously behind him. Carla is at this table, picking at a salad, and she looks
up as Kelso is now facing her across the table.

Carla: Oh, thank god you're here. I totally need someone to talk to.

Kelso open his mouth to protest, but is not fast enough as Carla continues.

Carla: Usually I would talk to Dr. Cox, but he's out doing stuff. Course there is always
Laverne, but I'm kind of her boss. And I like to avoid getting too up close and personal
with staff members who work below me.

Kelso: As do I.

Carla: See, it's just that I told Turk I didn't like his mole,
and I feel guilty now. the stance Ted after he gets chewed out by Kelso)> You've seen it, you can't avoid it.

Lobby. Cox enters rubbing his hands together and comes up to the desk. Ted is there and
looks up at Cox approaches.

Ted: Dr. Cox. Ah. I'm afraid my band lost a member. So we're not going to be able to
perform at your son's party.

Cox: Ted. Now even though I never asked you to, that is still just ter-ific news. an evil thumbs up>

Ted: That hurt here, and here.

Ted leaves, as JD comes up behind Cox. JD mood is solemn and serious.

JD: Dr. Cox.

Cox: What's the matter with you there
Sheila? You look like Maybaline<?> just went belly up.

JD: Twenty minutes after you left he went into cardiac arrest. turn of events> We tried to resuscitate him, but there was nothing we could do. from behind Cox and peers over his shoulder at the chart he is now flipping thru> I'm
sorry.

Ben: Whoa man. Bummer.

Cox: This shouldn't have happened.

JD Thoughts: Guilt's a funny thing. It can lead to denial.

Cox: Kid screwed up.

Ben: No he didn't. He told you he has way too many patients, he's swamped.

Cox turns to face Ben.

Cox: The kid screwed up.

Ben: Okay. JD left> Darn kid!

JD Thoughts: Guilt can lead to compromise.

Hallway outside the men's bathroom. Kelso is heading there with Carla in tow. Seems like
Carla still wanted Kelso's ear on her dilemma. He however just wants an escape from her
mess.

Crla: Turk is doing this sweet thing for me, you know? bathroom right behind Kelso>

Kelso : Men's room!

Bathroom occupants: Whoa! Hey!

Carla: door to continue their conversation> I just wish there was something I could do for him.

Turk and Elliot come down the hallway behind her.

Turk: Know what sweetie? I'm fine with getting rid of this mole. face, then points at Carla> But you got to be willing to take my last name when we get
married.

Carla: That's perfect. Of course I will.

Carla leaves happy with this solution. Turk and Elliot turn and watch as she leaves.

Elliot: And there she goes. Mrs. Carla Butt-face.

Turk realizing his plan to avoid the mole-removal backfired on him.

Turk: Dammit.

Mr. Taylor's bed. Mr. Taylor lays quietly in the bed. JD stands next to him looking
forlornly at the chart and then him.

JD Thoughts: But as a doctor, you are around death so much you get used to the guilt. And
you learn how not to let it keep you from affecting your personal relationships.

Cox and Ben walks up behind JD.

Ben: Brace yourself.

Cox: What are you still doing here?

JD: I'm on call tonight.

Cox: Not anymore. I'm taking all your patients.

JD: So wait. You think this was my fault?

Ben: Hey, this is an emotional situation. So, why don't you go easy on the kid?

Cox: It was your fault. Not get the hell out.

JD not wanting to get into a fight right now, complies and leaves quietly.

Ben: Well that was good. That was good listening.

Cox: Kev. <?>

Ben: Yup.

Commercial break.

Lobby. Superimpose along the bottom of the screen "Two Days Later" on the left. On the
right a clock display with the readout at 08:59:55 AM. The clock counts upwards. Cox
sporting a couple's days growth, probably due to lack of shaving, is sitting in one of the
lounge chairs, asleep, with his back propped up against the wall. Sitting next to him is
scruffy looking man sporting a full beard and holding a watch that he is intently staring
at. As the clock counter reaches up to 09:00:00 AM the number flash on and off the screen.
 At the same time the scruffy looking man starts yelling out.

Scruffy: Beep-beep-beep. Beep-beep-beep. Beep-beep-beep. Beep-beep-beep. Beep-beep-beep.
Beep-beep-beep.

Cox wakes up and turn to the man.

Cox: I got it. I got it. pocket for some money> All the best.

Scruffy: Thanks man.

Cox: I tell you what. Nothing says good morning like a drunken human alarm
clock.

Carla: Hey. You've been here for sixty straight hours. You need to go home.

Cox: You know what I need. I need people to stop telling me what I should do.

Carla: Fine.

Ben comes over to stand where Carla was.

Ben: You know what you should do?

Cox: Aw. Why are you here?

JD comes up to Cox and Ben.

JD: Dr. Cox. Can I talk to you for a second?

Cox: Hey, hey, Val. You know, you know what's funny? Sarcastically> Ever since I started taking care of your patients not one of them has died.

JD: Look. You want to be mad at me, that's fine. I get it. Okay. But Jordon called. And
she wants to make sure you show this afternoon.

Ben: Oh. Right. That thing. Put us down for Ben plus one.

Cox: I'm not going anywhere. So beat it.

JD leaves.

Surgery ward: Turk is in patient's gown sitting on the table. Elliot and JD are there.

Turk: You guys, I don't want to do this.

Elliot: Come on. No one's going to call you names.

Turk: I know, but...

JD: FACE! Butt-face.

Turk: Listen. My butt is fabulous. A slice of that up here,
that's just me spreading the wealth. Still my mole is part of my identity. I need you
guys to convince Carla to get me out of this.

JD: I can't man. I got things to do.

Elliot: Like what? Dr. Cox took all your patients.

Flashback
Lounge. JD is holding up some cards, playing gin against the Claw-handed-afro-sporting
security guard (Leonard) that Turk, Elliot and Carla were referring to previously. The
size of his afro does bely the fact that he has a claw for a hand.

Leonard: Gin.

JD: Dammit. in smug victory> Nice Hand. apologizes for the confusion about his remark> I meant the cards.

End Flashback

JD: I got to win my money back from Leonard. confusion> You know the guy with the giant afro.

Realization and recognition sink in.

Turk: Oh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
&
Elliot: Oh right. Yeah.

Elliot: I'll go talk to her for you.

Turk: Thank you. I hate her for doing this to me.

Cafeteria: Carla and Ted both with trays of food sit down at a table next to each other.

Carla: I hate him for doing this to me.

Give you three guesses who is on the other side. And the first two don't count. Yup, poor
Kelso got ambushed again, but now he's gonna get in Stereo baby. He stops eating the meal
he was just getting started and looks up at his two assailants.

Carla: I don't think he understands that Espinoza is more than a name to me. It's my
heritage. It's also a candy
bar in Equador. But mostly it's my heritage. hands back to him without breaking pace> I just don't want to do this Dr. Kelso, but I
already agreed. What do you think I should do?

Kelso: Well Nurse "Snickers", until now you've just been white noise. But since you
forced me to respond, let me a tell you a couple of things that only a few people know.
third quarter of ninety-seven. But I sill tee off every Wednesday at eight fifteen, and
take a bare-ass steam when the last putt drops. But more importantly, I really don't care
about any of you or your problems. And you can confirm that with Ted. up and leaves>

Ted: Don't those Espinoza's have nougat?

Hallway near Nurses Station. Cox and Ben are just exiting the elevator.

Ben: Can we go now?

Cox: No.

Ben: How about now?

Cox: No. Look as a rule of thumb I don't attend parties where the guest of honor has no
idea what's going on.

Ben: That's not true. Remember back when you and Jordon first got married, and we went to
go see senile old Grandpa Horty <?> for his ninety fifth birthday party? Remember he kept
trying to get the coat-check girl thrown out because she was loyal to the Kaiser. Ben can't help but laugh at the memory>

Cox: Benny, I appreciate your concern, but you just don't understand.

Ben: What don't I understand?

Cox: Well do you see all these people here? This is not some kind of senior citizens
slumber party. I mean if it was, I would have already put Mr. Foredom's hand in a nice
bowl of warm water. But god bless him, he's going to go ahead and wet the bed anyway. My,
my point is, is that if I'm not here, people die.

Ben: If I'm not here, people die.

Cox: Come on!

Ben: Listen why don't you just
let me take this little mental breakdown of yours. top of Cox's head> I'm going to put it right here, in my pocket. mental problem in his shirt pocket> And that way you can piss off for the afternoon, and
you can let one of the other nine-thousand other doctors around here take care of things
for you.

Cox: So you haven't noticed that my supporting cast in this theater of hell, is a veritable
who's who of incompetent puppets.

Elliot rushes up to stand between Cox and Ben. She addresses Cox.

Elliot: So sorry to bother you Dr. Cox. But I have
searched high and low (Makes exaggerated motions with her arms and hands. Behind Elliot,
Ben imitates a puppet marionette pulling her strings as she goes though conversation with
Cox> for Carla. And honestly, it is like she has gone poof! And like disappeared into thin
air. Heh. Have you seen her?

Ben was still doing the whole marionette thing while Elliot had her back to him. Cox got
the whole show, and cannot help but start to laugh at this spectacle.

Cox: No.

Elliot get suspicious, whips around to see if someone was making fun of here while her
back was turned. Ben immediately stops the marionette imitation, and puts on a look of
innocence when she turns around to face him. She whips back to face Cox. Ben resumes the
marionette thing when she goes back to talk to Cox.

Cox: No. I haven't seen her.

Elliot: Well if you do. Ummm. Page me. to keep the marionette joke for all its worth pretends like the strings are still attached
and she's pulling him off the desk. He even falls off the desk onto the floor with bravado
and showmanship>

Cox: Oh, Ben. Outstanding commitment.

Ben hops back to his feet.

Ben: Thanks. So, can we go now?

Cox: Provided that gets you off my back.

Ben: One more thing.

Cox: Oh, come on.

With Cox leading off Ben stomps in synch behind him in a playful manner.

Men's locker room. Ben leads Cox into the lockers, where a shower is running.

Ben: You got to forgive him.

At this moment JD steps out of the shower wearing a towel. He drops the towel, revealing he
is wearing a pair of shorts underneath. Both Cox and Ben look at him puzzled.

JD: What? They're my shower shorts.

Lobby: Elliot and the Janitor are walking. She convinced the Janitor to help her track
down Carla.

Elliot: Thanks again for helping me look for Carla.

Janitor: No problem. I'll check the dumpster.

Elliot: Ah, we're not looking for dead Carla.

Janitor: That a girl. You stay optimistic.

They walk past a supply closet where Carla is in there, but they do not notice her and
continue walking.

Supply closet. Kelso enters not having seen Carla already there. Awkward silence as they
realize the other's presence.

Carla: Ahem. Sorry sir. It's been an emotional couple of days.

Kelso: I'm just here to, ah get a nasal speculum.

Carla: I just wish I didn't hate that mole so
much.

Kelso: <Stops, sighs, realizes he can't just leave her like this and holds up the nasal
speculum> I used one of these on my wife once. She's a terrible snorer. Used to keep me
up all night. I made her have the surgery. Course that only made things worse. Here's the
twist. Now, whenever she goes out of town, I can't fall asleep without the sound of that
gasping, wheezing woman lying right next to me. Trust me. If I ever met a Japan air
stewardess who snores like Enid, I'd marry her tomorrow. But here's
the point. You might find out that thing you hate so much, is the very same thing you miss when
it's gone.

Carla: Thank you sir.

Kelso pauses, nods his head and continues out.

Plastic surgery. Turk is still in the patient gown sitting on the table. The Plastic
Surgeon and his assistant are prepping Turk for the operation.

Turk: All right, I'm gonna get right down to it. You tell Carla that
my mole is inoperable, I will pay you ten thousand dollars.

Carla quickly enters.

Carla: Turk! I don't want you to do this!

Plastic Surgeon: The mole's inoperable.

Turk: The deal's off. Surgeon's assistant was using to get his blood pressure> Ow!

Elliot rushes in. Not seeing Carla in her hurry.

Elliot: I couldn't find her. Plastic Surgeon>

Turk: Don't sweat it.

Turk and Carla leave off arm in arm.

Turk: See ya!
 
Plastic Surgeon:

Elliot: Not necessarily.

Elliot hops up on the table Turk just vacated. She takes off her left shoe.

Elliot: Look at this.

Although the audience never gets look at the horrible bunion, the Plastic Surgeon and his
assistant get an eyeful. It's too much for even seasoned professionals like themselves to
handle.

Plastic Surgeon: Waugh! over from shock behind him>

Elliot: Oh.

Men's Locker room. Cox is now talking directly to JD while Ben lounges on a bench behind
Cox. JD is still wearing the shorts he came out of the shower with.

Cox: Those are the most ridiculous things I have ever seen.

JD: You know you're right. I was an idiot to buy these shower shorts. I mean it's not like
they come with a complimentary shower wallet. Cox Face. The wallet is of the same color as the shorts, embroidered with "Shower Shortz"
on the front. There is a thin elastic cord attached from the wallet to the shorts. The
cord is pulled taunt as JD displays the wallet to Cox. JD let's go of the wallet which
snaps back along the cord. It would have looked cooler but gauging from the whip-cracking
sound and look on JD face, I'm thinking the wallet snapped back to JD's body in a most
painful manner> Ow.

Cox: Look I just want to say. That what happened. Wasn't your fault. And I'm
sorry.

JD: Thanks. I really need to hear that.

Ben: Good. Fun. Let's get dressed and go.

Cox: Shower Shortz?

JD: For the man who has nothing to hide. But still wants
to.

Cox reaction to this is to repeatedly pound his fist against the nearest locker in
disbelief.

JD Thoughts: Acceptance can take a lot of different forms.

Kelso's office. Kelso is putting on a tie. Ted is behind him in suit and coat talking on
a cell phone.

JD Thoughts: Whether it's accepting that it's okay to show your soft side every once in a
while.

Ted: Well its official. Chris left the band.

Kelso: Well Ted, you know what I
think? Good riddance to him. You'll find another tenor.

Ted: Thank you sir.

Kelso: If you don't, who cares? You all stink anyway.

Ted hangs his head dejectedly at the last.

Apartment: Turk is putting on a tie as well, with Carla in a dress standing across from
him.

JD Thoughts: Or accepting someone you love for just the way they are.

Turk: Can you tie my tie, Mrs. Espinoza?

Turk stands in front of Carla. Carla focuses on his face.

Fantasy Sequence
Camera shot zooms in on the mole where it again has the eyes and mouth.

Turk's mole: Answer him!

End Fantasy Sequence

Carla looks a bit taken back, but recovers quickly and pulls Turk closer and give him a
deliberate kiss on the upper part of his lip. Right where the mole is located. They both
giggle.

Turk: You just kissed my mole.

Carla: Mmm-hmm.

She helps Turk with his tie with a smile.

Field: Cox and Ben are walking side by side. Cox has a suit and tie on. He still hasn't
shaved but he looks no worse for wear. Ben is still wearing the same clothes as before.

Cox: So how come you don't have to get all dressed up?

Ben: I am dressed up. You see any holes in these pants?

Cox: No.

Ben: I'm glad you made it. Listen. There is one more thing you have to do for me.

Cox and Ben both stop walking and face each other.

Cox: You can't keep me from getting drunk.

Ben: You have to forgive yourself for everything that went down the other day.

Cox: You are so annoying.

Ben: Yeah.

Cox: Okay.

Ben: Good.

Music start to play:

Cox: Now where is your camera? Aren't, aren't you going to take some pictures?

JD in a suit and tie, steps up behind Cox.

JD: Pictures of what?

Cox: You know. Crying babies. Covered in chocolate. People singing
happy birthday to my son, who've never even met him before. You know, the whole routine.

JD: Where do you think we are?

Cox turns back around but Ben is longer there. Cox has now come to acceptance. He walks
across the field in silence with JD next to him. As camera follows them, we realize they
are in a cemetery, for Ben's funeral.

JD and Cox are the first to arrive and take their seats at the front. Gradually Jordan and
Danni arrive and take their seats. The rest of the funeral attendees show up to pay their
respects and mourn. Seated behind JD, Cox, Jordon and Danni in the rows behind we can see
Kelso, Carla, Turk, Elliot, Ted, Laverne, and various other hospital staff. The camera
pans over to the coffin where a priest reads last rites out of a bible to the gathered.
Sitting on the coffin is a large picture of Ben (probably one from his collection but blown
up to dignified proportions).

JD Thoughts: But in the end, the most important thing to accept, is that no matter how
alone you feel, how painful it may be, with the help of those around you, you'll get
through this too.

Cox breathes heavily and Jordon put a comforting arm around his shoulders from his left.
JD gives him a reassuring grip on his right shoulder. Cox tries to hold the tears and
grief in, but it's quite an effort.

Rest in peace Ben.

The end.